Sunday, September 19, 2010

A realization

As the days are quiet, with the kids at school and hubby at work, and I am at home (when I am off from work)....

As I go about my days at home during these times (granted I have had only 3 of these days since the kids have been back to school.).....

I noticed something the last quiet day....

The queitness of the house.....freaked me out a made me.....


I am actually stunned to find myself looking for errands to run while the kids are at school, instead of savoring the quietness of the house.

I am looking to get out, be out, and stay out of the house.

But I need to stay IN the house to get Mount Laundry under control, dinner made, dishes done, vaccuming, cleaning those gross bathrooms, etc.....

Now that I am avoiding the house when the kids are gone,  I am literally falling farther behind...And I have more time to get it done too...UGH!!

I am in a complete state of shock that this is a reality to me. I cannot tell you how I was looking forward to that quiet house, and now it freaks me out.

It's the reverse culture shock I experienced when I was working full time, then had my first baby and then went home full time. That did not go over very well in the beginning. It took me 3 months to start to enjoy my baby.

I guess I need to give it time, 3 months maybe???

Yikes, I don't think the house will survive 3 months of me avoiding it!!!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Home Alone

Yesterday, started something I thought I was looking forward to for the last 15 years.....
All the kids in full day school, and the house to myself. WOW!!! Not what I thought it would be like.

Funny thing was the closer the time came for it to be reality, the more reluctant I was about it.

I worked yesterday morning and had the afternoon off. I came home and did the normal things I would. Laundry, dishes, making dinner, etc. The entire time I was looking at the clock like every 10 minutes wondering if it was time to go get the kids. It was a strange feeling of times past, when I would have quiet afternoons when the kids were napping. I kept feeling like the kids were sleeping and I needed to hurry up and get as much done as I possibly could before they woke up. Yet I knew they were not sleeping and I had a designated time to be done in order to leave to get the kids at school. Again... strange feeling.

Today was another strange feeling. After dropping the kids off at school, I went grocery shopping and came home and immediately started dinner in the crock pot ( a new recipe...which I am sad to say I don't like). Now that was nothing unusual yet, that happened last year with Babygirl in 1/2 day Kindergarten. The strange feeling came when I decided to go to the gym... I did not need to make sure the daycare was open. I did not need to hurry, or tell anyone how long I would be.....I just....went.....Now that was strange!!

I looked forward to this time for so long. Especially during the times when I just wanted to go to the bathroom, or the store or the doctors office without a fuss. And as the cliche goes you won't miss it until its gone.

It's not that I miss it (it's only been the start of it though) but it is just so different. It just is a constant reminder to me that my kids are growing up and we can never go back. Unless God has other plans than mine (which could certainly be) we will never have babies, or toddlers at home that are too young to go to school, and occupy most of my time. (I am not talking about future grandchildren that maybe this would happen for). It is just a little sobering for me.

 I am not looking to change it either. This is just the next chapter in our family story. I am looking forward to hubby taking a day off, and we can have a date day without having to find sitters and it being an ordeal. Now that will be nice.