Grieving

Today we are grieving the loss of my husband's grandmother. She was 96 years old. She was so ready to go home and be with the Lord. She even stated this past week "How long does it take you to die? I thought it would be quick." She was ready, very ready. She had lived a full life and she was tired, very tired. Even though we all knew in our hearts that this day would come, and that every day we had with her was one to be grateful for, it is still hard to believe she is really gone.
My youngest son and she were great friends. Up until this last 8 months or so, little man and MomMom Dodd, and grandma would go out to lunch together and then go to the Amish market together. They did this at least 3 times a month, if not every week. Granma would pick him up from school (either preschool or half day kindergarden....they did this for years) and they would decide which resturant they would have lunch and then enjoy lunch with each other and then proceed down to the next town and shop for some groceries. Little man LOVED these times with his great MomMom Dodd. They would have the most interesting conversations especially from such a young boy. One day MomMom Dodd told me "I hope you don't mind, but I call him 'My Boy' "(she had 4 girls, she never had a son). From then on Little man would say to her "you know I am your boy". He would always love and kiss on her and always made her feel special. Those two had a special bond, that was only between them. She did not treat the other great grandchildren like she treated him, although she tried not to let the others know. He was special to her, and she was special to him.

He is having a hard time with this loss. When we first told him he just buried his head under hubby's arm and wouldn't come out. When he did, he ran upstairs with tears streaming down his face. I gave him a few minutes and then went to talk, and console him. Every time I came near him he would run away. I found him in the rec. room and then he ran downstairs to the old playroom/ exercise room. I found him hiding behind the doors hoping not to be found. I was able to grab him and just hold him. I told him it was ok to cry and be sad, and that should be the way he should feel. We are all sad. He sat there stiff as a board not wanting to be held. But I held him anyways. After a while, he finally collapsed and cried some more. I asked him if he wanted to go out to her house (that was where everyone was concregating) and he jumped up so fast and said yes. He couldn't get to her house fast enough.

We arrived at her house and he was able to see his Aunt Jodi was crying, and grandma, KK, and his other 2 great aunts crying. I think he felt comfort, and realized that it really was ok to cry and be sad. He didn't really cry anymore, but did tear up at times. He saw his aunt KK crying when he was sitting next to her, and all on his own he just reached over and gave her the biggest hug with one of his hands rubbing her back. He just sat there like that for a moment. She gave him a smile and said thank you. He later told me "Mom, she was crying on my shoulder when I hugged her. I think she needed my hug. She is sad like me." Such insight from a little 7 year old.

Tonight he prayed and asked God "to be with me. I am so sad and scared not to have MomMom Dodd here anymore. Please take care of her." He is grieving and so are we. I am so grateful, he is able to mourn and talk about how is feeling. Please pray for him. Loss is so tough, and to have to try to deal with that at a young age is so hard for them to understand. He is a blessed boy to be able to have spent that time with his great grandmom. Many do not get that opportunity.

The other kids are dealing with it well. Babygirl doesn't really comprehend and is trying to. She asks all kinds of questions that feel inappropriate, but she is 4 and is trying to grasp it.

The next few days will be tough with the viewing and funeral. It's tough for us who are left behind, but for her it is a glorious time. I am so happy for MomMom, but so sad for the rest of us. Please keep us in your prayers. Thanks.