I had a "duh" moment at church today. We were singing a song and in the verse it said "It's not for us, it's all for Him". That struck me with what I had wrote yesterday. It was that light bulb that went off, another reminder.
I had it backwards. It is not about me including God in my daily life. It's about the honor and priviledge of God allowing me to be a part of His Kingdom. "Duh"....it's not about me, but about Him. My life, my world, my decisions, my mundaneness whatever, it's all for Him. I am here to glorify Him, not please myself.
The sad thing is, I know this. Hence the "duh".
It seems when I tend to take my eyes off the Lord, and living life without my focus, that is when the mundaneness comes. It slowly creeps in and the joy of life sucked slowly out. Like a balloon with a slow leak. You don't even know it is leaking until the balloon is significantly smaller. (Our pastor used that analogy, I could relate to it). I didn't even realize that was me. I was losing air and didn't even notice it. My walk with the Lord has not been priority. If I get the time I will read my Bible and spend time fellowshipping with the Lord. How come I found time for facebook, and time to blog, and time to check e-mail. Hmmm..... Priorities, are messed up again.
I seem to have this theme in my life, gain perspective, get on track. Then lose perspective and get off track, only to regain perspective and get back on track. Will I ever stay on track? Am I alone in that struggle? The appearance of people I admire, shows me I may be a freak. What is wrong with you? Keep your eyes on Jesus, how hard can that be? Apparently for me, VERY HARD!!!!!! Oh God forgive my waivering ways. The sad thing is I too give off the appearance that everything is just fine and dandy with me. It's not that I have wandered and have these great big sins, I just have been living for me and not the Lord. Bascially being your typical "good person". Pastor taked today about being zealous. Have you lost your zeal for the Lord? Couldn't have been a better wake up call for me. Especially since that was how I was feeling and didn't know it. God is so good all the time. Praise God for Him who meets me where I am.